


Thirteen Years of Memes

by SDTS



Category: Uncharted (Video Games)
Genre: One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-11 15:00:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7897180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SDTS/pseuds/SDTS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After thirteen years in jail, Sam is out. For the first time ever, he is being taken to Starbucks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thirteen Years of Memes

“I don’t understand why we couldn’t have made coffee at the hotel.” Sam protests as everyone piles out of the car.

            Rafe looks over his shoulder as he heads towards Starbucks, “That isn’t coffee. That’s swill.”

            “No, it isn’t. Better than prison coffee.” He grumbles.

            Nate gets out after Sam and puts his hand on his shoulder, “Anything is better than prison coffee.”

            You are pulling your hair up in a ponytail as you turn around to look at the brothers, “Sam, I keep forgetting this is all new to you. Starbucks being new to someone is sort of like…an alien coming to visit and telling me about their home world.”

            “Guys!” Rafe exclaims, turning around to look at the three of you, “Sometime this century.”

            Nate grumbles something underneath his breath that you are sure isn’t a compliment as Sam takes off after Rafe. You shrug at him and head inside as well.

            In a stroke of good luck, the place is almost empty. It is the middle of the day. The four of you had been out late last night researching old journals for a lead and everyone had slept in. That itself had set Rafe off. He had a schedule that he wanted everyone to follow. Waking up past noon was not part of the schedule. Luckily for everyone, Rafe being in a bad mood was a pretty regular occurrence.

            He goes up to the counter. His phone is glued to his hand and he is looking down at it through his black framed glasses. He has a messenger bag over one shoulder. Everything he is wearing probably costs more than the rent you pay on your apartment for the entire year.

            Without glancing up from his phone, he goes, “Venti. Chocolate chai. Half non-fat. Half soy. Extra hot. No water. No foam. No foam, okay? None.”

            Sam leans over to you and whispers in your ear, “I understood like maybe two of those words.”

            You try not to laugh. Nate is rolling his eyes at Rafe’s order.

            “Look at that,” He gestures to Rafe, “He doesn’t even look up. He’s so –”

            “Nathan, please. This is my first time here. It’s a special occasion.” He jokes.

            Nate cuts himself off from his insult and shoves his hands in his pockets. You decide to go next so there is some space between the two men. Rafe has gone over to the other side of the counter and has lowered his phone to watch the barista make his drink. He is the definition of a nightmare Starbucks customer, you think to yourself as you glance up at the menu.

            “Just a java chip Frappuccino.” You say, not wanting to order anything complicated because Rafe had been so…well, Rafe.

            Nate prods Sam to go up next. He looks unsure of himself. You have seen Sam leap off cliffs, tackle a mugger who had tried to get your purse in the last city you were in, and figure out complicated puzzles in ancient temples. Here, however, he looks like a fish out of water.

            He takes one look at the menu before clearing his throat and says, “Large black coffee.”

            “Venti dark roast?” The barista asks.

            Sam looks over at Nate who nods encouragingly. For a spilt second, Nate looks like the older brother instead of the other way around.

            “Uh, yeah. Thanks.” He replies quickly before going over to wait with Rafe and you.

            The other barista hands Rafe his drink. He eyes it warily as if checking for defects before taking a small sip. He waits a few seconds before giving a curt nod of approval. You can practically hear Nate sigh from here before ordering a white chocolate mocha.

            Rafe wrinkles his nose at Sam, “That’s all you got?”

            “I got a coffee.”

            “You got just…a regular coffee. I didn’t even know people still got those.”

            “People who have been in prison for like thirteen years get regular coffees.” You tell Rafe who still is looking at Sam’s coffee with disdain, as if it keyed his car or something.

            After you get your coffee, Nate gets his and the group goes outside to get some work done. Everyone gets settled in their chairs. Rafe is already pulling out materials for everyone to go over. It is bright outside but the weather is nice. It is oddly soothing to be here, enjoying a coffee as you go over the research.

            Nate is flipping through yellowed pages as Rafe pulls out his iPad. He had scanned them all in the other day, preferring to look at them on his screen. As he brings them up, he eyes his drink.

            “Does that look like foam to you?” He says to no one in particular.

            “No.” Nate says automatically without looking up.

            Sam is pulling out a cigarette when you go, “Whoa, what are you doing?”

            “Uh…smoking?”

            “You can’t smoke here.” Rafe says impatiently. 

            “What? We’re outside.” Sam gestures around him as if to prove a point.

            But Nate gives a small shake of his head, “Sorry, Sam. No smoking outside,” He points to the sign, “No smoking…most places nowadays.”

            Sam looks gutted at this. He stares at the sign as if it his own worst enemy and down at his coffee before going, “I always smoke with a coffee though.”

            “Well, that’s because any coffee you had in prison was disgusting,” Nate says in an attempt to be helpful, “So the cigarette and lung cancer balanced it out.”

            Rafe reaches over and grabs Sam’s drink, “Let me try this.”

            “Why, your…chai latte cappuccino soy thing hasn’t cooled off yet?” Sam asks, “Probably would be if you had gotten it not extra hot.”

            “Try mine.” You offer yours over to Sam who leans over and takes a sip off your straw.

            As Sam makes a look of amazement followed by an exclamation of, “That’s coffee?” Rafe takes a sip of the black coffee.

            He practically spits it out on the spot and makes a look of horror, “That is disgusting.”

            “Oh, come on. You’re being overly dramatic.” Nate protests.

            “You didn’t add any sugar or creamer or anything.” He points to the cup as if it purposely offended him.

            Sam is still sipping on your coffee. You slowly yank it away from him before he can drink it all.

            “I can’t believe that’s coffee.” He says again as he stares longingly at your cup.

            “Sam, why did you e-mail me?” Rafe asks in an irritated tone, pointing to his phone, “You e-mailed me an hour ago.”

            “Oh yeah, found a lead or something. Wanted to e-mail you it before I forgot.” Sam says but something is off about his tone.

            Rafe frowns and looks at Sam suspiciously from behind his glasses before looking back down at his tablet. Nate is completely focused at what the group is supposed to be doing – research.

            Suddenly out of Rafe’s tablet blares a song, “ _Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down –”_

Sam lets out a roar of laughter, practically lurching forward in his chair and spilling his coffee. You reach out and steady his cup.

            “You got Rick Rolled!” He exclaims gleefully.

            Even Nate looks up at this. Rafe is staring very intently at Sam with a look of mingled annoyance and disbelief. Sam is still laughing as if it was the funniest thing ever. When he sees everyone staring at him, his laughter dies down a little.

            “It’s like a meme,” He says to the group, “It’s these things online…”

            As he explains memes to everyone, you realize Sam has missed out on thirteen years of memes. The realization is horrifying. Everyone is going to be suffering through thirteen years of memes. Every meme and viral video flashes across your brain. Sam is going to go through all of them and send you them all because they will be brand new to him.

            “Oh my god.” You say under your breath as Sam explains what a Rick Roll is.

            To everyone’s credit, even Rafe’s, no one wants to burst Sam’s bubble and tell him Rick Roll is centuries old in internet time. He looks so happy right now, experiencing flavoured coffee for the first time and sending Rafe a Rick Roll. Who can bring that down crashing around him?

            “Good one, Sam.” Rafe finally replies as if he is applauding a student that got a participation ribbon.

            “Yeah, funny. Really.” Nate says with a big smile on his face.

            Sam pulls out his phone – a smart phone which Nate had bought him for his birthday, “Did you guys know you can look up cat videos? Like on the internet?”

            You close the research book you had open in front of you. Rafe lowers his tablet. Even Nate pushes the papers to the side.

            You ponder just how long you are about to watch cat videos for.

           


End file.
